Inspirational Stories of Recovery

Below is another powerful story of recovery and survival. It is Richard’s Story. Richard is a long-term depression sufferer, who now lives his life 100% free of depression medications. His is a story of deep pain but also of hope…

Richard’s Story

My spirit was broken by a violent and abusive household. Without hope, I gave up and sank into deeper levels of my being, making sure to close and lock each door behind me so no one could find me to hurt me. Looking back I think...

I was so weak back then, a dependent parasite, unthinking and unfeeling. I expected everything to be handed to me. I lived in a world of blocks where nothing is real but my closed in reality. Nobody pushed me out of it either. By their silence they supported it. Everything was handed to me too. Everybody liked how weak I was because they could use me for their purposes. I had no real thoughts of my own. Whatever somebody asked, I did, without objection; but at least they never tried to push me out of my cage. That was too much to handle--so much pain! They actually thought I was a good person because I helped them so much, but really it was weakness-- utter, lazy, somber, good-willed weakness.

Closed in. Without courage.
Afraid.
Hated-life.
Feared life.
Dreaded life.
Wanted to die.
Miserable life.
Painful life.
Meek life.
Weak life.

No aggression.
Given up.
Depressed depression.
Life sucks.

Life is bitter but not sweet.
Nothing pleasant here to eat.
Hungry for more,
it is not there.

Everything that was good is gone.
I am alone in agony.
Solitary solitude.
No one like me.
Caged in Hell.
Laughter Gone.
Safe here.
Quiet.

Alone and special.
Especially alone.
A dim light.
I'm comin' home.

It's hard to heal in the midst of ongoing abuse, so you go somewhere in your mind where things aren't so bad and you feel safe--a numb blanket of comfort. I've been out of my home for a while now but I still dissociate a lot, especially around people I don't know or trust(it takes a long time for me to trust someone). I wish I could heal all at once from the years of trauma and abuse...but I can't. It takes time. I don't know how long yet. I guess it depends on me, how hard I work, how sincere I am in my efforts to heal. But I know that one day I will be whole--piece by piece I gather up the shards, remnants of my shattered soul. With each piece, a bit of life regained, a fragmented reflection of myself, a shiny clue, a gentle reminder of something I once knew.

"Richard Waltiere is a truly courageous soul who has had the strength to face himself honestly and truthfully, as well as inner pains injected into him by past trauma. Richard lives his life 100% free of soul suppressive medications, and heals more and evolves more by the day."

(Above observations made by Melissa, Richy's loving wife and best friend)




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